Nine happiness practices I depend on as a leader and human

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice developed over time, involving: 1) focused, self-regulated attention on immediate experience and, 2) orientating our experience of the present moment towards curiosity, openness, and acceptance (Bishop et al., 2004).  Mindfulness has transformed my life. It has become a daily practice and way of being, with approaches such as the Metta (or loving-kindness) meditation, breathing meditation, and mindful/deep breath awareness providing grounding throughout my day.  I am not alone in experiencing the benefits of mindfulness. Mindfulness practices such as sitting meditation, body scanning, and mindful movement positively impact well-being, stress, and rumination (Shapiro et al., 2008). Developing mindful awareness and acceptance of the present moment is one of the toughest human experiences that requires a lifetime of practice and learning. I encourage you to learn more about mindfulness practices by checking out the UCLA Mindful app and Berkeley’s Greater Good in Action website.

Managing Challenging Emotions

I once asked a colleague who formally studies Buddhism if the purpose of meditation was developing our capacity to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively to challenging situations.  They nodded with a gentle, warm, and proud smile.  I am certain the purpose of meditation is more complex.  However, I was reassured that I was on the right path. I am human and experience the natural and ongoing flux of emotions and feelings that arise within us.  A core component of my happiness practice is becoming more mindful of how I manage and regulate my emotions in order to respond thoughtfully to situations that trigger me.  Learning to name and acknowledge the feelings and sensations that arise in my body is my first step (e.g., I feel angry and frustrated.  My jaw is tense. My heart is racing). Next, I breathe deeply. I often intentionally breathe in kindness for myself and breathe out kindness for others. Deep breathing lowers blood pressure, reduces stress and anxiety, and shifts the autonomic nervous system from sympathetic (i.e., our fight or flight response) toward parasympathetic dominance (i.e., our body’s ability to relax) (Jareth et al., 2006; Tavoian & Craighead, 2023). Deep breathing helps us regulate and respond intentionally when we feel triggered. My more regulated responses to triggering situations usually involve letting go and doing nothing or pausing and responding from a place of learning and curiosity, rather than judgment.  Developing the capacity to manage and regulate our emotions is one of the most important superpowers of successful leaders.

Shifting our Limiting Beliefs into Lifting Beliefs

The loudest and most frequent voice we hear is the voice inside of our heads. Our thoughts impact our emotions, behaviours, and perceptions of everyday life experiences. Like many humans, my inner thoughts are often unkind and do not always serve me well. In her book The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times, Michelle Obama describes our destructive self-thoughts as our fearful mind.  In her words, this mind says things like, “…you suck, you’re a failure, you’re not very smart, and you never get anything right.”

Cognitive reframing is a strategy used to shift our negative, distorted, and self-defeating thoughts and beliefs in order to influence our resulting emotions, behaviours, and well-being (Robson Jr & Troutman-Jordan, 2014).  As an executive coach, I refer to this practice as shifting our limiting beliefs into lifting beliefs.  For example, when I make a mistake as a leader, I often get stuck in thoughts like, “You are such an imposter.  You have no idea what you are doing.  You are a failure.”  I’ve become better at pausing and mindfully catching these thoughts in action and reframing them with beliefs such as, “No leader is perfect.  The best leaders take time to reflect upon and learn from things that don’t go well.” The first few times I tried this, it was awkward, forced, and painful.  The more I practiced, the more my perceptions of my experiences shifted and the more self-compassionate I became. Kristin Neff (2023) describes self-compassion as “how we relate to ourselves in instances of perceived failure, inadequacy or personal suffering” (p.194).  Neff confirms the positive impacts of self-compassion on our emotional states, mental health and well-being.  She’s found that practicing self-compassion helps us lean into our negative emotions, reduce rumination, and develop skills for self-regulation. The practice of transforming my limiting beliefs into lifting beliefs has helped me become a more empathetic, kind, and present leader and human.

Gratitude

The positive and immediate impacts of expressing gratitude and appreciation amaze me.  If I feel my sense of joy and hope waning, my go-to coping strategy is to create a gratitude list.  I do this regularly through journalling, meditation, and brief moments of reflection.  Evidence-based gratitude interventions include taking a few moments daily to reflect on a few things you are grateful for and why (Wood et al., 2010).  Inspired by author Shawn Achor, I also often take one or two minutes each day to connect with a friend or colleague and share something I appreciate about them and why it makes a difference.  This might be in the form of in-the-moment feedback, a phone conversation, text, direct message, or email.  By sending appreciation to others, I fill their buckets, reflect upon the importance of the positive qualities I see in them, and consider how I might model these capacities myself. Gratitude practices immediately improve my mood and have ripple effects throughout my life as I continue to actively seek and look for things I am grateful for and appreciate in others. In her book, The Serviceberry, Robin Wall Kimmerer reminds us that through gratitude, we are also reminded of the “enoughness” in our lives and “the knowing that you already have what you need.”

Reflecting on Daily Wins and Success

As a leader, there are times when I get stuck on everything that needs to be fixed in my life, with the teams I work with, in the organization I work in, across the higher education sector, and in the world. When I feel overwhelmed and like everything in life is not working, I turn to the three good things exercise.  Positive Psychology expert Dr. Martin Seligman and colleagues introduced and tested the “3 good things in life” exercise (Seligman et al., 2005). The concept is simple.  At the end of the day, set aside a few minutes to reflect upon and write about three things that went well and their causes. Seligman et al. (2005) found that doing this for just one week can result in immediate and sustained positive impacts on our happiness, even after months of stopping. Give it a try. You’ll feel gratification and positive states of emotion arise as you reflect upon your three daily wins and find your days focused on looking for what’s working rather than stuck in a mind trap of what’s not working. 

Savouring Everyday Moments (or micro-moments) of Joy

Savouring is the practice of holding onto and appreciating the emotional experiences associated with positive events. For example, you receive positive feedback from a colleague. You intentionally take 15-30 seconds to silently reflect upon the emotions (e.g., I feel proud and grateful) and sensations (e.g., My breathing has softened. I feel relaxed warmth in my chest) that arise from that feedback, or you take time to savour the experience of receiving the positive feedback by sharing it with a friend or family member later that day.  Jose et al. (2012) found engaging in small moments of daily savouring can broaden and build (Fredrickson, 2001) happiness so we experience even more happiness throughout our lives.  In other words, if we develop the habit of savouring, we are more likely to maintain states of overall happiness, regardless of the nature of the events that we experience in our lives. Momentary savouring creates mindsets with long-term adaptive benefits that strengthen our capacity and resilience to manage future events (Fredrickson, 2001).

Meaning

What drives you to do what you do?

What contribution would you like to make to the world?

What’s your larger purpose?

What are the values or intentions that drive you?

What’s most meaningful to you? 

What matters most in your life?

Who do you want to be in your life? 

What draws you to your work and engagement with your community?

These are tough, existential questions. And they are worth exploring and revisiting at least once a year. My larger purpose is to help build more human-centred individuals, organizations and communities. That’s what drives me. It’s my greatest hope to strengthen the power of connection and humanity in the world around me. My core values are kindness, collaboration, curiosity, and hope. This purpose and these values fuel my daily interactions, relationships, teaching, learning, coaching and leadership practices, and community connections.  It’s taken me half a century to learn that happiness is not grounded in the things I acquire or the job titles I achieve. Deep (i.e., eudaimonic) happiness is grounded in the pursuit of purpose, meaning, and making a difference in our lives (Wong, 2011).

Physical Activity

Research suggests that few of us engage in enough physical activity and that daily physical activity, including aerobic activity and strength/flexibility training can benefit those with mental health challenges, especially those who experience depression and anxiety (Paluska & Schwenk, 2000). Thankfully, exercise is a happiness practice that comes easily to me. Movement is my medicine. Daily activity increases my strength and physical stamina and helps me process many of my daily challenges and emerging anxieties. It’s like an active (or an act of) meditation.  It feeds my mind, clears my thoughts, nourishes my soul, and challenges my body. I aim for at least 30 minutes of daily activity, through a combination of cycling, running, yoga, and strength training.  What helps me achieve this goal?  I have equipment at home, saving both money and time. When I can, I feed two birds with one seed by experiencing and enjoying the beauty of running, cycling, or hiking on the trails around me. The benefits of exercising in nature are astounding.  Engaging in nature-based physical activity significantly improves mental well-being and “…can have a profound effect on psychological functioning” (Turecek et al., 2025, p.12).

Nutrition

I am not a fan of restrictive diets. My well-being is improved when I focus on fueling my mind and body with nutrient-rich whole foods. I strive for balance. I eat (mostly) locally sourced meats. I love tofu and rich, aged, dairy-filled cheese.  I enjoy savoury treats, including ripple potato chips and French fries. I make homemade sourdough and jam.  I prefer white pasta and rice, even though whole-grain versions have more fibre and nutrients. I have a green salad most days. I can’t imagine a day without coffee or chocolate. My simplified approach to nutrition for well-being starts with asking, “What can I add to my daily nutrition to move towards happiness and better health?” Lately, my focus has been increasing my intake of fruits, vegetables, and plant-based proteins, ensuring I stay hydrated, and taking daily doses of probiotics, vitamins, and minerals. This simplified approach is supported by research. Studies exploring the link between mental health and nutrition suggest there are positive benefits to ensuring appropriate consumption of nutrients and minerals such as B vitamins, vitamin D, zinc and magnesium, daily probiotics, and fibre and nutrient-rich foods (Grajek et al., 2022).

Conclusion

Happiness doesn’t just happen. Moving toward happiness takes ongoing and intentional practice.

These nine evidence-based strategies for happiness have become lifelong practices for me.  Do I integrate every practice every day? No. I aim for consistency. When I sense a shift in my well-being, these practices give me the confidence and capacity to take action. They’ve helped me become an expert in my own journey towards happiness.

Call to Action

Identify one of these practices that resonates with you or you are curious about. Try it out. Reflect on how it impacts you.  Share your experiences with a colleague or friend. One of the reasons I wrote this post is to inspire more conversations about joy and happiness in the workplace. I think it’s the type of conversation we don’t have enough of, and that could help transform our organizations, teams, and the humans who give them life.

Note: cover image generated using Canva’s AI image generator Magic Media based on the title of this blog.

References

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Brooks, A. C., & Winfrey, O. (2023). Build the Life you Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier. Portfolio, Penguin.

Clément S. Bellet, Jan-Emmanuel De Neve, George Ward (2024) Does Employee Happiness Have an Impact on Productivity? Management Science 70(3):1656-1679. https://doi.org/10.1287/mnsc.2023.4766

Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The Role of Positive Emotions in Positive Psychology. American Psychologist, 56 (3), 218-226.

Grajek, M., Krupa-Kotara, K., Białek-Dratwa, A., Sobczyk, K., Grot, M., Kowalski, O., & Staśkiewicz, W. (2022). Nutrition and mental health: A review of current knowledge about the impact of diet on mental health. Frontiers in Nutrition, 9, 943998.

Jerath, R., Edry, J. W., Barnes, V. A., & Jerath, V. (2006). Physiology of long pranayamic breathing: neural respiratory elements may provide a mechanism that explains how slow deep breathing shifts the autonomic nervous system. Medical hypotheses, 67(3), 566-571.

Jose, P. E., Lim, B. T., & Bryant, F. B. (2012). Does savoring increase happiness? A daily diary study. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 7(3), 176-187.

Kimmerer, R.W. (2024) The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World. Scribner, NY.

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Neff, K. D. (2023). Self-compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention. Annual review of psychology, 74(1), 193-218.

Obama, M. (2022) The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times. Crown, NY.

Paluska, S. A., & Schwenk, T. L. (2000). Physical activity and mental health: current concepts. Sports medicine, 29, 167-180.

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Seligman, M. E. , Steen, T. A. , Park, N. & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive Psychology Progress. American Psychologist, 60 (5), 410-421.

Seligman, M. E. P., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2000). Positive psychology: An introduction. American Psychologist, 55 , 5–14.

Seligman, M. (2012).  Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Atria books.

Sheldon, K. M. & King, L. (2001). Why Positive Psychology Is Necessary. American Psychologist, 56 (3), 216-217.

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Tavoian, D., & Craighead, D. H. (2023). Deep breathing exercise at work: Potential applications and impact. Frontiers in Physiology, 14, 1040091.

Turecek, S., Brymer, E., & Rahimi-Golkhandan, S. (2025). The relationship between physical activity environment, mental wellbeing, flourishing and thriving: A mixed method study. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 76, 102769.

Wong, P. T. P. (2011). Positive psychology 2.0: Towards a balanced interactive model of the good life. Canadian Psychology, 52(2), 69–81. 

Wood, A. M., Froh, J. J., & Geraghty, A. W. (2010). Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration. Clinical psychology review, 30(7), 890-905.