Trusting your inner wisdom in team coaching to navigate conflict and strengthen psychological safety

What is team coaching?

Team coaching involves partnering with and walking alongside teams to help them learn together, relate together, reflect together, achieve together, and grow together. Team coaching supports teams in leveraging their collective talents and gifts to achieve goals, strengthen performance, enhance team health, and transform themselves, their team and their organization(s). Traylor et al. (2020) summarize that team coaching focuses on learning and development, goals and performance, team self-awareness and team health/functioning over a sustained time. Team coaching is systemic and intentional, focusing on individual, interpersonal and team relationships; team priorities and tasks; internal and external partner connections; and, wider systemic/societal contexts (Lines and Leary-Joyce, 2024; Peters and Carr, 2013a). Team coaching positively impacts team performance, interaction, communication, affect (e.g., trust, respect, psychological safety), as well as ongoing team and individual learning and growth (Salihovic, 2021; Peters and Carr, 2013b).

What does team coaching look like?

Team coaching is nuanced and complex. Important approaches to team coaching include:

using a combination of team coaching and individual coaching with team members and team leads,
iteratively gathering insights from the team, organizational partners, and external partners,
creating and maintaining conditions for psychological safety (Edmundson, 1999; 2018) and growth,
challenging and stretching performance for individual team members and the team as a whole,
providing expertise, mentorship, facilitation, and guidance where helpful,
building conditions for sustained team health and change,
evaluating and communicating the impact of team coaching interventions, and
paying attention to our own growth, restoration and self-care (Graves, 2021).

According to Peters and Carr (2013a) the structure of team coaching includes six core components:

Assessment (team coaching readiness, engagement of team members, stakeholders and context),
Coaching for Team Design (team purpose, structure and talent),
Team Launch (team charter, direction, vision, goals, working agreements),
Individual Coaching (leader, team members),
Ongoing Team Coaching (coach, team lead, team members, peer coaching), and
Capturing Learning, Success and Impact (results and outputs, team and social processes, individual learning, partner perspectives).

The importance of psychological safety in team coaching

Psychological safety is core to team processes, especially when teams are navigating conflict. Gallo (2023) describes psychological safety as “a shared belief held by members of a team that it’s OK to take risks, to express their ideas and concerns, to speak up with questions, and to admit mistakes — all without fear of negative consequences.” Based on work by Amy Edmondson (e.g. Edmondson, 1999; Edmondson, 2018), Gallo emphasizes that psychological safety creates more motivated and engaged teams, leads to better decision-making, and fosters a culture of continuous improvement. In short, psychological safety leads to better team communication, performance, creativity, resilience, and learning.

What’s core to ensuring psychological safety?

Bresman and Edmondson (2022) highlight three key approaches leaders or coaches can take to create psychological safety:

Framing: Frame team meetings and conversations as important opportunities for collaborative information sharing and intentionally invite team members to share different perspectives. Ensure you provide space and time to hear from all team members. Frame differences as valuable from the start.

I anticipate that we will all bring different perspectives to this conversation. Our diverse viewpoints will help us more fully understand each other and the issue at hand. These different perspectives enrich our discussion and help us arrive at a better outcome.

Inquiry: This is what coaches do best! Ask open questions that inspire deep dialogue. Great leaders and coaches ask questions that are curious, learning-focused, and have no correct or pre-determined answer. Don’t know what to ask? Keep it simple.

What do you think?
What else might we consider?
How do you feel about this?
What matters most?
How should we move forward?

Bridging Boundaries: I love this one. Bresman and Edmondson (2022) recommend that strength-based questions around hopes, skills and expertise, and challenges can help build psychological safety. These questions help team members see where they can bridge their expertise and boundaries. They provide a foundation for moving forward and stealthily inspire vulnerability.

What do you want to accomplish?
What do you bring to the table?
What are you up against? What are you worried about? What concerns you?

Digging deep to inspire team transformation

Team coaching is more than what you do or how you structure an experience with a team. Team coaching is coaching, and coaching is about transformation. It’s about digging below the surface.

Expert team coaches work to create psychologically safe spaces for open and honest conversations. They help teams lean into and resolve conflicts and disagreements. They learn to read the space by noticing shifts in energy, somatic responses and communication patterns to uncover what matters most. They are calm, affirming, and curious. They name shifts in team dynamics and are “prepared to drop the plan and respond to what is emerging in the team” (Lines and Leary-Joyce, 2024, p. 109).

This is the messy, magical, and essential part of team coaching that inspires new awareness and insight and results in sustained learning and transformation. It forms the heart of team coaching. This type of learning happens when teams uncover and challenge their assumptions, beliefs and frames of reference (Mezirow, 1997). Make no mistake, this is tough work. For coaches, this means leaning into team dynamics, team conflict, team tensions, team energy, team safety, team interaction, and the unspoken undercurrents of team processes.

Digging below the surface takes practice and courage. It often starts with listening to our inner wisdom. As coaches, our emotional responses and inner sensory reactions are powerful indicators that something is happening with the team that we need to pay attention to. Tuning into our inner wisdom is a coaching superpower, and mindfulness practices can help us develop this superpower.

Using the RAIN mindfulness practice to harness our inner wisdom and transform teams

I first learned about the RAIN mindfulness practice through Dr. Tara Brach’s work. I often use the RAIN (Brach, 2021) practice to navigate and live through the inevitable and common human experiences associated with stress, anxiety, anger, fear, frustration, grief, sadness, and burnout. RAIN stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nuture.

Let’s break down how to leverage the RAIN practice to navigate tension and conflict in team coaching.

Imagine you are coaching a team, and you suddenly feel tension arising.

Drawing upon the work of Lines and Leary-Joyce’s (2024) approach to conflict and Brach’s (2021) RAIN framework, here is an example of how RAIN can help. Take note of how RAIN is used as an internal strategy for the team coach and as a coaching framework for the team throughout this example.

Recognize

Recognize what is happening and note what is emerging within you. Tap into your inner wisdom. Your feeling body is filled with wisdom. It has much to offer and teach your thinking mind. Pause and reflect on questions such as:

What thoughts, behaviours, and feelings am I experiencing?
What emotions are surfacing for me?
Where are these emotions living in my body?
What sensations am I experiencing?
What are these sensations wanting from me?
How could these feelings be an indicator of what others are feeling?

To help the team recognize and name what they are experiencing, identify what you are experiencing and invite them into the process.

I am feeling some tension arising. Do any of you feel that way, too?

Allow

Allow the experience, emotions, and sensations to be there, just as they are. There is no need to suppress, fix, judge or avoid these arisings. Remember that these reactions are there to support and help you. They are alerting you to pause and pay attention to something important. They are there to support your and the team’s success and learning.

You may acknowledge your sensations silently in a way that is meaningful to you.

I see you anxiety. I feel you as my jaw and hands clench.

To help the group uncover and allow their experiences, explore questions such as,

What are you noticing or experiencing as a team?
What emotions or sensations are you noticing arise within you?

Allowing is about creating space for folks to name, acknowledge and sit with their discomfort. Your role as team coach is to create a safe, open discussion where team members can identify what they are experiencing without judgment. It is the beginning of helping the team identify patterns of conflict and their impact on team dynamics and performance.

It may be helpful for team members to use statements starting with,

I feel…
I am…
I notice…

Create space for all voices to be heard. Encourage team members to name and sit with their discomfort, rather than judge, blame or rush to solutions. Validate and encourage different perspectives and encourage team members to do the same. Remember, this inner work is tough and may be new to many team members. Some team members may benefit from accessing an emotions or feelings wheel. I still use an emotions wheel regularly, as in the moment, it’s tough to identify what’s happening within us!

Your calm and reassuring presence is essential. Consider taking grounding breaths throughout the process. Affirming statements can help folks ease into the conversation.

It’s natural for strong emotions to arise during conflict.
Different people may experience this situation differently.

Investigate

Investigate with curiosity, interest and care. Investigation starts with you. You may silently reflect on questions such as,

What information are my emotional sensations providing me about my experiences as a team coach?
What information are these arising providing me about the team structure, dynamics and processes and the broader system they function within?
What patterns in the team’s dynamics and interactions am I noticing?

To dig deeper into an exploration of tension and conflict with the team, you may explore questions such as,

What patterns are you noticing?
What is this situation offering or teaching the team? What opportunities is it revealing?
How might the team structure be contributing to this situation?
What broader organizational dynamics or external contexts may be contributing to this situation?
What are your roles, contributions and responsibilities related to this situation?
What strengths could emerge from working through this?
What do you need from the team in this moment?
What does the team need from you?

Again, your calming and curious presence is essential. Notice your and the team’s tone, posture and somatic responses and intentionally work to ease tension throughout the discussion. Take pauses and breaks if necessary.

Nurture

Nurture psychological safety and demonstrate compassion and self-compassion. Demonstrate compassion and encourage self-compassion by openly acknowledging, appreciating and affirming courageous and vulnerable contributions.

Self-compassion (Neff, 2023) involves giving ourselves support and compassion, just as we would a friend, especially when we are experiencing discomfort, suffering and pain. It includes demonstrating self-kindness, acknowledging the common humanity of our experiences, and practicing mindfulness. It is about reducing the separation we feel from one another.

Working through conflict and disagreement is tough work. Self-compassion can be demonstrated throughout the RAIN cycle. For example, you may silently acknowledge,

Working through conflict is an important component of my role as coach. It’s tough work.

The gentle movement of placing one of your hands on top of the other can help demonstrate self-compassion and care.

Encourage self-compassion and compassion by the team by normalizing and emphasizing the importance of team conflict.

Thank you for working through this process. Conflict and disagreement are critical to fostering team health.
Working through moments of tension, conflict and disagreement provide incredible opportunities for team learning, innovation, and growth.
It takes courage, expertise and vulnerability to lean into team tensions. You’ve strengthened the way you interact as a team and surfaced new and different perspectives.

Nurture psychological safety through shared framing, inquiry and bridging boundaries (Bresman and Edmundson, 2022). Check-in and facilitate a debrief to synthesize what the team learned and how they will move forward. Ensure you allow for time to hear from all team members.

The act of psychological safety is a demonstration of compassion and self-compassion as the team is provided with time to normalize and mindfully reflect upon the learning and growth they have accomplished.

Consider questions such as,

What strengths emerged from working through this?
What did you learn about navigating team conflict and ensuring psychological safety as you worked through this? As individuals? As a team?
How will you carry forward what you learned as a team?
What might you add to your team agreements based on this experience?
How will you reflect upon and celebrate the work and growth you have experienced today?

Conclusion

Listening to and leaning into our inner wisdom is one of the most important practices we can develop as team coaches. Like any practice, it takes practice! RAIN provides an accessible framework for helping us leverage our and the team’s inner wisdom to navigate tension, disagreement and conflict, and to strengthen psychological safety.

RAIN has completely reframed conflict and tension for me. It’s helped me see this discomfort as an essential part of team health, learning and growth. Most importantly, it’s given me a grounded approach to strengthen my capacity to help team members and teams become more curious, human-centred and resilient.

Call to action

I encourage you to find one component of the RAIN practice that resonates with you and to try it in a team coaching experience. The RAIN practice can apply to your individual leadership and coaching practices too. You may start by recognizing the emotions and sensations that arise within you during a team discussion, or by engaging in a conversation of what the team experiences during a moment of energy, passion and joy. RAIN can also illuminate joyful team experiences. You may start by sharing and discussing this post with a coaching colleague or a leadership team you are working with. There is no one or right way to bring the RAIN practice to life. Do what feels most meaningful and important to you!

References

Brach, T. (2021) Blog: The RAIN of self-compassion. https://www.tarabrach.com/selfcompassion1/

Bresman, H. and Edmondson, A. (2022) Research: to excel, diverse teams need psychological safety. https://hbr.org/2022/03/research-to-excel-diverse-teams-need-psychological-safety

Edmondson, A. (1999). Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383. https://doi.org/10.2307/2666999

Edmondson, A. C. (2018). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. John Wiley & Sons.

Gallo, A. (2023) What is psychological safety? https://hbr.org/2023/02/what-is-psychological-safety

Graves, G. (2021). What do the experiences of team coaches tell us about the essential elements of team coaching? International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching & Mentoring, 15. https://radar.brookes.ac.uk/radar/file/fe000ae4-258d-4fed-8fcb-8d2d484295e1/1/IJEBCM_S15_16.pdf

Lines, H. and Leary-Joyce, J. 2024. Systemic Team Coaching 2nd Edition. AoEC Press.

Mezirow, J. (1997). Transformative learning: Theory to practice. New directions for adult and continuing education, 1997(74), 5-12. https://www.ecolas.eu/eng/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Mezirow-Transformative-Learning.pdf

Neff, K. D. (2023). Self-compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention. Annual review of psychology, 74(1), 193-218.

Peters, J., & Carr, C. (2013a). High Performance Team Coaching: A Comprehensive System for Leaders and Coaches. Friesen Press.

Peters, J., & Carr, C. (2013b). Team effectiveness and team coaching literature review. Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice, 6(2), 116-136. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17521882.2013.798669

Salihovic, K. (2021). Team coaching in the workplace. A literature review on team coaching and solving performance deficiency in the workplace, University of Gothenburg, School of Business, Economics and Law.

Traylor, A. M., Stahr, E., & Salas, E. (2020). Team coaching: Three questions and a look ahead: A systematic literature review. International Coaching Psychology Review, 15(2), 54-68. https://www.siopsa.org.za/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/ICPR-Vol-15.-No.-2-Autumn-2020.pdf#page=56

The practice of moving toward happiness in leadership and life

Leadership is tough work. It can feel overwhelming and all-consuming. At times, our work as leaders can take a toll on our happiness and well-being. Reflecting on 2024, I noticed one consistency – more moments of joy in my life. I’ve lived with anxiety and depression since my early 20s. I’ve worked through my mental health highs and lows with the support of therapists, medical health professionals, medication, family, friends, executive coaches, self-compassion, mindfulness, and ongoing learning. I am not alone in this journey, 20% of the Canadian population experience a mental illness in any given year. At any time in our workplace, 1 in 5 of our colleagues struggle with mental health challenges, and leaders play a critical role in acknowledging and supporting workplace wellbeing. Strengthening our capability to experience joy and happiness is an important leadership skill to start with.

What strategies have I used to experience more joy and happiness in my work and life?

Acceptance

I’ve accepted that happiness is not something I suddenly achieve and sustain. Happiness is an ongoing life practice. In their book Build the Life you Want, Arthur Brooks and Oprah Winfrey recommend that rather than striving to be happy, we should focus on becoming happier. They contend,

“Happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a direction.”

Positive Psychology

I’ve worked to build and flex my happiness muscle by integrating daily practices supported by research on positive psychology. Critics of positive psychology assume it only draws upon strengths and the positive aspects of life. Some fear it promotes toxic positivity. However, positive psychology research suggests it’s not solely about focusing on the positive. Positive psychology interventions and approaches provide strategies for leaning into, sitting with, and acknowledging challenging emotions and the varied experiences we face in life, including our stresses, losses, failures, and mistakes (Wong, 2011). Experiencing positive emotions (e.g., joy, hope, contentment), reducing stressors, and promoting positive coping and resilience are critical to human flourishing (Seligman, 2012).

In the workplace, frequent experiences of positive emotions and happiness lead to:

enhanced individual and organization learning, problem solving and creativity,
improved social relationships,
better workplace performance and productivity,
decreased susceptibility to burnout, absenteeism and turnover,
increased job satisfaction, and
higher rates of organizational citizenship and community volunteerism (Clément et al., 2024; Fredrickson, 1998; Lyubomirsky et al., 2005).

What is positive psychology?

Positive psychology moves towards an open and appreciative approach to human motives, capacities and potential, and our individual and collective capacity to flourish (Sheldon and King, 2001; Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi, 2000). Positive psychology reinforces:

the positive qualities of people and life,
our capacity to learn from challenging life experiences. Many of our challenging life experiences contribute most to the development of our strengths, resilience, and a deeper understanding of human suffering, and
the more we practice noticing what’s working, and identifying and using our strengths, the more we focus on the positive around us and the more we can build our psychological reserves, resources, and resilience to address future life events (Frederickson, 2001; Wong, 2011).

Nine happiness practices I depend on as a leader and human

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice developed over time, involving: 1) focused, self-regulated attention on immediate experience and, 2) orientating our experience of the present moment towards curiosity, openness, and acceptance (Bishop et al., 2004). Mindfulness has transformed my life. It has become a daily practice and way of being, with approaches such as the Metta (or loving-kindness) meditation, breathing meditation, and mindful/deep breath awareness providing grounding throughout my day. I am not alone in experiencing the benefits of mindfulness. Mindfulness practices such as sitting meditation, body scanning, and mindful movement positively impact well-being, stress, and rumination (Shapiro et al., 2008). Developing mindful awareness and acceptance of the present moment is one of the toughest human experiences that requires a lifetime of practice and learning. I encourage you to learn more about mindfulness practices by checking out the UCLA Mindful app and Berkeley’s Greater Good in Action website.

Managing Challenging Emotions

I once asked a colleague who formally studies Buddhism if the purpose of meditation was developing our capacity to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively to challenging situations. They nodded with a gentle, warm, and proud smile. I am certain the purpose of meditation is more complex. However, I was reassured that I was on the right path. I am human and experience the natural and ongoing flux of emotions and feelings that arise within us. A core component of my happiness practice is becoming more mindful of how I manage and regulate my emotions in order to respond thoughtfully to situations that trigger me. Learning to name and acknowledge the feelings and sensations that arise in my body is my first step (e.g., I feel angry and frustrated. My jaw is tense. My heart is racing). Next, I breathe deeply. I often intentionally breathe in kindness for myself and breathe out kindness for others. Deep breathing lowers blood pressure, reduces stress and anxiety, and shifts the autonomic nervous system from sympathetic (i.e., our fight or flight response) toward parasympathetic dominance (i.e., our body’s ability to relax) (Jareth et al., 2006; Tavoian & Craighead, 2023). Deep breathing helps us regulate and respond intentionally when we feel triggered. My more regulated responses to triggering situations usually involve letting go and doing nothing or pausing and responding from a place of learning and curiosity, rather than judgment. Developing the capacity to manage and regulate our emotions is one of the most important superpowers of successful leaders.

Shifting our Limiting Beliefs into Lifting Beliefs

The loudest and most frequent voice we hear is the voice inside of our heads. Our thoughts impact our emotions, behaviours, and perceptions of everyday life experiences. Like many humans, my inner thoughts are often unkind and do not always serve me well. In her book The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times, Michelle Obama describes our destructive self-thoughts as our fearful mind. In her words, this mind says things like, “…you suck, you’re a failure, you’re not very smart, and you never get anything right.”

Cognitive reframing is a strategy used to shift our negative, distorted, and self-defeating thoughts and beliefs in order to influence our resulting emotions, behaviours, and well-being (Robson Jr & Troutman-Jordan, 2014). As an executive coach, I refer to this practice as shifting our limiting beliefs into lifting beliefs. For example, when I make a mistake as a leader, I often get stuck in thoughts like, “You are such an imposter. You have no idea what you are doing. You are a failure.” I’ve become better at pausing and mindfully catching these thoughts in action and reframing them with beliefs such as, “No leader is perfect. The best leaders take time to reflect upon and learn from things that don’t go well.” The first few times I tried this, it was awkward, forced, and painful. The more I practiced, the more my perceptions of my experiences shifted and the more self-compassionate I became. Kristin Neff (2023) describes self-compassion as “how we relate to ourselves in instances of perceived failure, inadequacy or personal suffering” (p.194). Neff confirms the positive impacts of self-compassion on our emotional states, mental health and well-being. She’s found that practicing self-compassion helps us lean into our negative emotions, reduce rumination, and develop skills for self-regulation. The practice of transforming my limiting beliefs into lifting beliefs has helped me become a more empathetic, kind, and present leader and human.

Gratitude

The positive and immediate impacts of expressing gratitude and appreciation amaze me. If I feel my sense of joy and hope waning, my go-to coping strategy is to create a gratitude list. I do this regularly through journalling, meditation, and brief moments of reflection. Evidence-based gratitude interventions include taking a few moments daily to reflect on a few things you are grateful for and why (Wood et al., 2010). Inspired by author Shawn Achor, I also often take one or two minutes each day to connect with a friend or colleague and share something I appreciate about them and why it makes a difference. This might be in the form of in-the-moment feedback, a phone conversation, text, direct message, or email. By sending appreciation to others, I fill their buckets, reflect upon the importance of the positive qualities I see in them, and consider how I might model these capacities myself. Gratitude practices immediately improve my mood and have ripple effects throughout my life as I continue to actively seek and look for things I am grateful for and appreciate in others. In her book, The Serviceberry, Robin Wall Kimmerer reminds us that through gratitude, we are also reminded of the “enoughness” in our lives and “the knowing that you already have what you need.”

Reflecting on Daily Wins and Success

As a leader, there are times when I get stuck on everything that needs to be fixed in my life, with the teams I work with, in the organization I work in, across the higher education sector, and in the world. When I feel overwhelmed and like everything in life is not working, I turn to the three good things exercise. Positive Psychology expert Dr. Martin Seligman and colleagues introduced and tested the “3 good things in life” exercise (Seligman et al., 2005). The concept is simple. At the end of the day, set aside a few minutes to reflect upon and write about three things that went well and their causes. Seligman et al. (2005) found that doing this for just one week can result in immediate and sustained positive impacts on our happiness, even after months of stopping. Give it a try. You’ll feel gratification and positive states of emotion arise as you reflect upon your three daily wins and find your days focused on looking for what’s working rather than stuck in a mind trap of what’s not working.

Savouring Everyday Moments (or micro-moments) of Joy

Savouring is the practice of holding onto and appreciating the emotional experiences associated with positive events. For example, you receive positive feedback from a colleague. You intentionally take 15-30 seconds to silently reflect upon the emotions (e.g., I feel proud and grateful) and sensations (e.g., My breathing has softened. I feel relaxed warmth in my chest) that arise from that feedback, or you take time to savour the experience of receiving the positive feedback by sharing it with a friend or family member later that day. Jose et al. (2012) found engaging in small moments of daily savouring can broaden and build (Fredrickson, 2001) happiness so we experience even more happiness throughout our lives. In other words, if we develop the habit of savouring, we are more likely to maintain states of overall happiness, regardless of the nature of the events that we experience in our lives. Momentary savouring creates mindsets with long-term adaptive benefits that strengthen our capacity and resilience to manage future events (Fredrickson, 2001).

Meaning

What drives you to do what you do?
What contribution would you like to make to the world?
What’s your larger purpose?
What are the values or intentions that drive you?
What’s most meaningful to you?
What matters most in your life?
Who do you want to be in your life?
What draws you to your work and engagement with your community?

These are tough, existential questions. And they are worth exploring and revisiting at least once a year. My larger purpose is to help build more human-centred individuals, organizations and communities. That’s what drives me. It’s my greatest hope to strengthen the power of connection and humanity in the world around me. My core values are kindness, collaboration, curiosity, and hope. This purpose and these values fuel my daily interactions, relationships, teaching, learning, coaching and leadership practices, and community connections. It’s taken me half a century to learn that happiness is not grounded in the things I acquire or the job titles I achieve. Deep (i.e., eudaimonic) happiness is grounded in the pursuit of purpose, meaning, and making a difference in our lives (Wong, 2011).

Physical Activity

Research suggests that few of us engage in enough physical activity and that daily physical activity, including aerobic activity and strength/flexibility training can benefit those with mental health challenges, especially those who experience depression and anxiety (Paluska & Schwenk, 2000). Thankfully, exercise is a happiness practice that comes easily to me. Movement is my medicine. Daily activity increases my strength and physical stamina and helps me process many of my daily challenges and emerging anxieties. It’s like an active (or an act of) meditation. It feeds my mind, clears my thoughts, nourishes my soul, and challenges my body. I aim for at least 30 minutes of daily activity, through a combination of cycling, running, yoga, and strength training. What helps me achieve this goal? I have equipment at home, saving both money and time. When I can, I feed two birds with one seed by experiencing and enjoying the beauty of running, cycling, or hiking on the trails around me. The benefits of exercising in nature are astounding. Engaging in nature-based physical activity significantly improves mental well-being and “…can have a profound effect on psychological functioning” (Turecek et al., 2025, p.12).

Nutrition

I am not a fan of restrictive diets. My well-being is improved when I focus on fueling my mind and body with nutrient-rich whole foods. I strive for balance. I eat (mostly) locally sourced meats. I love tofu and rich, aged, dairy-filled cheese. I enjoy savoury treats, including ripple potato chips and French fries. I make homemade sourdough and jam. I prefer white pasta and rice, even though whole-grain versions have more fibre and nutrients. I have a green salad most days. I can’t imagine a day without coffee or chocolate. My simplified approach to nutrition for well-being starts with asking, “What can I add to my daily nutrition to move towards happiness and better health?” Lately, my focus has been increasing my intake of fruits, vegetables, and plant-based proteins, ensuring I stay hydrated, and taking daily doses of probiotics, vitamins, and minerals. This simplified approach is supported by research. Studies exploring the link between mental health and nutrition suggest there are positive benefits to ensuring appropriate consumption of nutrients and minerals such as B vitamins, vitamin D, zinc and magnesium, daily probiotics, and fibre and nutrient-rich foods (Grajek et al., 2022).

Conclusion

Happiness doesn’t just happen. Moving toward happiness takes ongoing and intentional practice.

These nine evidence-based strategies for happiness have become lifelong practices for me. Do I integrate every practice every day? No. I aim for consistency. When I sense a shift in my well-being, these practices give me the confidence and capacity to take action. They’ve helped me become an expert in my own journey towards happiness.

Call to Action

Identify one of these practices that resonates with you or you are curious about. Try it out. Reflect on how it impacts you. Share your experiences with a colleague or friend. One of the reasons I wrote this post is to inspire more conversations about joy and happiness in the workplace. I think it’s the type of conversation we don’t have enough of, and that could help transform our organizations, teams, and the humans who give them life.

Note: cover image generated using Canva’s AI image generator Magic Media based on the title of this blog.

References

Bishop, S.R., Lau, M., Shapiro, S., Carlson, L., Anderson, N.D., Carmody, J., Segal, Z.V., Abbey, S., Speca, M., Velting, D. and Devins, G., (2004). Mindfulness: A proposed operational definition. Clinical psychology: Science and practice, 11(3), 230.

Brooks, A. C., & Winfrey, O. (2023). Build the Life you Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier. Portfolio, Penguin.

Clément S. Bellet, Jan-Emmanuel De Neve, George Ward (2024) Does Employee Happiness Have an Impact on Productivity? Management Science 70(3):1656-1679. https://doi.org/10.1287/mnsc.2023.4766

Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The Role of Positive Emotions in Positive Psychology. American Psychologist, 56 (3), 218-226.

Grajek, M., Krupa-Kotara, K., Białek-Dratwa, A., Sobczyk, K., Grot, M., Kowalski, O., & Staśkiewicz, W. (2022). Nutrition and mental health: A review of current knowledge about the impact of diet on mental health. Frontiers in Nutrition, 9, 943998.

Jerath, R., Edry, J. W., Barnes, V. A., & Jerath, V. (2006). Physiology of long pranayamic breathing: neural respiratory elements may provide a mechanism that explains how slow deep breathing shifts the autonomic nervous system. Medical hypotheses, 67(3), 566-571.

Jose, P. E., Lim, B. T., & Bryant, F. B. (2012). Does savoring increase happiness? A daily diary study. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 7(3), 176-187.

Kimmerer, R.W. (2024) The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World. Scribner, NY.

Lyubomirsky, S., King, L., & Diener, E. (2005). The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success? Psychological Bulletin, 131 (6), 803-855.

Neff, K. D. (2023). Self-compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention. Annual review of psychology, 74(1), 193-218.

Obama, M. (2022) The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times. Crown, NY.

Paluska, S. A., & Schwenk, T. L. (2000). Physical activity and mental health: current concepts. Sports medicine, 29, 167-180.

Robson Jr, J. P., & Troutman-Jordan, M. (2014). A concept analysis of cognitive reframing. Journal of Theory Construction & Testing, 18(2).

Seligman, M. E. , Steen, T. A. , Park, N. & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive Psychology Progress. American Psychologist, 60 (5), 410-421.

Seligman, M. E. P., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2000). Positive psychology: An introduction. American Psychologist, 55 , 5–14.

Seligman, M. (2012). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Atria books.

Sheldon, K. M. & King, L. (2001). Why Positive Psychology Is Necessary. American Psychologist, 56 (3), 216-217.

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Leadership and the Sacred Pause

I’ve identified one leadership skill to practice this year. It’s a tough one (maybe the toughest of all!), so I’ve given myself a year to practice and reflect on it, and maybe move one step forward to becoming a more conscious leader and human being.

You know that moment between when something happens that triggers you (aka “the stimulus”). It may be a comment in a conversation or meeting, an action from a colleague (or yourself), or it may be an organizational decision that is completely out of your control. Something happens that causes your emotions to kick into high gear. Most often in these moments, I react (aka “the reaction”). In more cases than not, that reaction is sometimes more charged than I would like it to be. These reactions are often grounded in a space of judgment, rather than in a space of curiosity and learning. In those moments, I am not my ideal self as a leader.

The sacred pause

I first learned of the concept of the sacred pause from Tara Brach (n.d.).

Tara shares that the sacred pause involves stopping and “paying attention to your immediate experience” or what is happening within you. Say I am triggered by something that I disagree strongly with in a meeting (“the stimulus”). A typical response for me may be to interject, interrupt the conversation, and strongly state my point of view. In most situations, I am not putting my ideal leadership self forward in these moments.

Insert “the sacred pause” in between “the stimulus” and “the reaction”, and you get a more thoughtful and intentional leadership response.

The sacred pause of breathing kindness

Breathing kindness is my go-to strategy for practicing the sacred pause. Here is how it looks.

If I am catch myself feeling triggered in a meeting:

I notice. I am experiencing a strong reaction and emotion.
I identify the emotion and my inner experience. I am feeling anger and frustration. My heart is racing, my jaw is tense, and my eyes are tightening.
I breath. I take a deep breath (or 20!) breathing in kindness for myself and breathing out kindness for others.

After noticing, feeling and breathing, I am able to more thoughtfully and intentionally respond to the stimulus. My most common response in these moments? Nothing at all. The more I practice the sacred pause of breathing kindness, the more I’ve come to recognize that my charged inner experiences pass naturally, AND what is triggering me in the moment passes as well.

The sacred pause of inner inquiry

This is a mindfulness strategy that I use when something has triggered me, I hold onto it, and I am consumed by the experience. In these situations, I find myself stuck in my head, spinning in a mind trap. We’ve all been there. We sit and fester in our thoughts and challenging emotions. When I catch myself in these moments, I engage with a longer sacred pause of inner inquiry, reflecting on the following questions, which too are inspired by Tara Brach’s work (Brach, 2023).

What’s important? What matters most right now?
What am I feeling and experiencing? What is happening inside me right now?
How can I meet this (i.e., what is happening inside me right now), with kindness?
What is my truest path forward? What does love want from me?

There are times when my reflections stop after the first questions, as I realize that what was consuming me, really wasn’t that important at all. Other times, my journal is filled with reflections and options for moving forward that more clearly align with my values, and who I want to be as a leader.

Embracing our emotions at work

I work in higher education. The affective or emotional part of our leadership practice is not something we often talk about, or make visible. And yet, our work as leaders involves our emotions, and our reactions to those emotions – EVERY SINGLE DAY. We can’t leave the “beings” part of humanness when we walk out of our house in the morning.

I’ve held onto a teaching shared by Arthur Brooks (2023) in his book, Build the Life you Want that he co-authored with Oprah Winfrey. He shares that emotions are just signals that there is something happening that requires our attention and action, AND if we take the time to pay attention to and observe these signals, our conscious brain gets to decide how to respond. The sacred pause gives us time to do this; to transition our limbic reactions to more metacognitive and intentional actions.

A challenge to you

Embrace your full self as a leader – emotions and all! Our emotions have a real impact on our experiences and actions as leaders. Learning to lean into, reflect upon, and manage our reactions to our emotions is a leadership superpower. Try or adapt one of the strategies above the next time you feel triggered by your emotions at work. As always, I’d love to learn from you. If you’d like to share another strategy for taking a sacred pause at work, feel free to add it to the comments below!

References

Brach, T. (n.d.) The Sacred Pause. Accessed at: https://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/practices/view/21412?id=21412

Brach, T. (2023) Four Spiritual Inquiries: Finding Heart Wisdom in Painful Times. Accessed at: https://www.tarabrach.com/four-spiritual-inquiries/

Brooks, A. and Winfrey, O. (2023) Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier. Portfolio/Penguin, NY.

Decision-Making through the Lens of Conscious Leadership

“Blow Your Mind” by kozumel is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0

One of my favourite grounding statements is “We are human beings not human doings.” A quick search on the internet reveals that this statement has been attributed to many, including the Dalai Lama. For me, this statement speaks to the importance of our inherent humanness, including the fact that we feel and experience thoughts and emotions in the workplace, which give rise to actions and responses that are deeply connected to and have impact on ourselves and those around us. Each action and response creates ripples across our organizations.

This year has brought rise to constant change and challenge in our workplaces. We have adapted to situations that most of us could not have imagined. Technology has both connected and distanced us. The global pandemic has impacted people and organizations differently. For many, it has drastically shifted workplace and personal practices. It has increased feelings of uncertainty, emotional exhaustion, isolation and stress. We have witnessed disproportional impacts of the pandemic on vulnerable populations and equity-deserving groups, and many of us have struggled from poorer mental health and well-being (Aristovnik et al, 2020; Brazeau et al., 2020; Giorgi et al., 2020).

As a leader, the global pandemic has challenged my decision-making abilities, with the sheer load of required resources, responses and actions often exceeding my cognitive capacity. I have found some relief in grounding my practice through a lens of conscious leadership.

What is conscious leadership?

Being conscious or mindful is about, “observing and attending to the changing field of thoughts, feelings and sensations from moment to moment” through self-regulated attention, and non-judgmental acceptance of experience (Bishop et al., 2004, p.232). It is often described as a being in the present moment, or “present-moment awareness” (Goldstein, 2013, p. 13). Mindfulness helps us intentionally respond (as opposed to habitually react) to our thoughts, emotions, and surroundings as we reflect upon and broadened our perspective on experience (Bishop et al., 2004; Goldstein, 2013).

Conscious leadership can be understood through three key processes: 1) awareness, 2) transformation, and 3) intentionality (Hofman, 2008; Jones, 2015). Conscious leaders are aware of these processes across multiple levels. First and foremost, from the perspective of oneself, then of others through to their organizations and community. Conscious leaders are aware that everything across an organization is connected and impermanent (in constant flux), and that these interconnections influence continuous change. They act from a space of acceptance, curiosity, and reciprocity, recognizing that every organization is bound by human relationships and emotions (Bishop et. al, 2004; Hoffman, 2008; Jones, 2015). They act through a lens of empathy, compassion, and shared leadership, and are oriented towards observation, openness, acceptance, reflection and ongoing learning.

Essential questions to guide a conscious approach to decision making

Awareness

What is my understanding of the challenge (or opportunity)?
Who is involved or connected to this challenge?
How does this understanding change if I view it from the perspective of those around me, and/or the organization as a whole?
What is happening for me, others and the organization right now?
What interconnections, emotions and/or patterns are associated with this issue for me, others and/or the organization?

Transformation

What possibilities for change exist for myself, others and/or the organization?
How could I involve others in exploring these possibilities?
What actions could result in change and transformation for myself, others and the organization?
What influence might these actions have on myself, others and the organization?

Intentionality

What is most important right now for myself, others and the organization?
What is the most appropriate response? How should others be involved in responding?
What emotions and reactions may be associated with this response for myself, others and the organization?
What actions could I take to demonstrate empathy and compassion to myself, others and the organization in light of these emotions and reactions?

Like all leaders (and humans), the joy, happiness and success I experience in the workplace is balanced by challenge, defeat, failure and pain. Never has that been more apparent than over this past year. The above questions have brought mindful grounding to these peaks and valleys. I’d love to hear how/if this approach resonates for you!

References:

Aristovnik, A., Keržič, D., Ravšelj, D., Tomaževič, N., & Umek, L. (2020). Impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic on life of higher education students: A global perspective. Sustainability, 12(20), 8438.

Brazeau, G. A., Frenzel, J. E., & Prescott, W. A. (2020). Facilitating wellbeing in a turbulent time. American Journal of Pharmaceutical Education, 84(6).

Bishop, S. R., Lau, M., Shapiro, S., Carlson, L., Anderson, N. D., Carmody, J., … & Devins, G. (2004). Mindfulness: A proposed operational definition. Clinical psychology: Science and practice, 11(3), 230-241.

Hofman, R. E. (2008). A conscious‐authentic leadership approach in the workplace: Leading from within. Journal of Leadership Studies, 2(1), 18-31.

Goldstein, J. (2013). Mindfulness: A practical guide to awakening. Sounds True.

Giorgi, G., Lecca, L. I., Alessio, F., Finstad, G. L., Bondanini, G., Lulli, L. G., … & Mucci, N. (2020). COVID-19-related mental health effects in the workplace: a narrative review. International journal of environmental research and public health, 17(21), 7857.

Jones, V., & Brazdau, O. (2015). Conscious leadership, a reciprocal connected practice. A qualitative study on postsecondary education. Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences, 203, 251-256.

Xiong, J., Lipsitz, O., Nasri, F., Lui, L. M., Gill, H., Phan, L., … & McIntyre, R. S. (2020). Impact of COVID-19 pandemic on mental health in the general population: A systematic review. Journal of affective disorders.