Trusting your inner wisdom in team coaching to navigate conflict and strengthen psychological safety

What is team coaching?

Team coaching involves partnering with and walking alongside teams to help them learn together, relate together, reflect together, achieve together, and grow together. Team coaching supports teams in leveraging their collective talents and gifts to achieve goals, strengthen performance, enhance team health, and transform themselves, their team and their organization(s). Traylor et al. (2020) summarize that team coaching focuses on learning and development, goals and performance, team self-awareness and team health/functioning over a sustained time. Team coaching is systemic and intentional, focusing on individual, interpersonal and team relationships; team priorities and tasks; internal and external partner connections; and, wider systemic/societal contexts (Lines and Leary-Joyce, 2024; Peters and Carr, 2013a). Team coaching positively impacts team performance, interaction, communication, affect (e.g., trust, respect, psychological safety), as well as ongoing team and individual learning and growth (Salihovic, 2021; Peters and Carr, 2013b).

What does team coaching look like?

Team coaching is nuanced and complex. Important approaches to team coaching include:

using a combination of team coaching and individual coaching with team members and team leads,
iteratively gathering insights from the team, organizational partners, and external partners,
creating and maintaining conditions for psychological safety (Edmundson, 1999; 2018) and growth,
challenging and stretching performance for individual team members and the team as a whole,
providing expertise, mentorship, facilitation, and guidance where helpful,
building conditions for sustained team health and change,
evaluating and communicating the impact of team coaching interventions, and
paying attention to our own growth, restoration and self-care (Graves, 2021).

According to Peters and Carr (2013a) the structure of team coaching includes six core components:

Assessment (team coaching readiness, engagement of team members, stakeholders and context),
Coaching for Team Design (team purpose, structure and talent),
Team Launch (team charter, direction, vision, goals, working agreements),
Individual Coaching (leader, team members),
Ongoing Team Coaching (coach, team lead, team members, peer coaching), and
Capturing Learning, Success and Impact (results and outputs, team and social processes, individual learning, partner perspectives).

The importance of psychological safety in team coaching

Psychological safety is core to team processes, especially when teams are navigating conflict. Gallo (2023) describes psychological safety as “a shared belief held by members of a team that it’s OK to take risks, to express their ideas and concerns, to speak up with questions, and to admit mistakes — all without fear of negative consequences.” Based on work by Amy Edmondson (e.g. Edmondson, 1999; Edmondson, 2018), Gallo emphasizes that psychological safety creates more motivated and engaged teams, leads to better decision-making, and fosters a culture of continuous improvement. In short, psychological safety leads to better team communication, performance, creativity, resilience, and learning.

What’s core to ensuring psychological safety?

Bresman and Edmondson (2022) highlight three key approaches leaders or coaches can take to create psychological safety:

Framing: Frame team meetings and conversations as important opportunities for collaborative information sharing and intentionally invite team members to share different perspectives. Ensure you provide space and time to hear from all team members. Frame differences as valuable from the start.

I anticipate that we will all bring different perspectives to this conversation. Our diverse viewpoints will help us more fully understand each other and the issue at hand. These different perspectives enrich our discussion and help us arrive at a better outcome.

Inquiry: This is what coaches do best! Ask open questions that inspire deep dialogue. Great leaders and coaches ask questions that are curious, learning-focused, and have no correct or pre-determined answer. Don’t know what to ask? Keep it simple.

What do you think?
What else might we consider?
How do you feel about this?
What matters most?
How should we move forward?

Bridging Boundaries: I love this one. Bresman and Edmondson (2022) recommend that strength-based questions around hopes, skills and expertise, and challenges can help build psychological safety. These questions help team members see where they can bridge their expertise and boundaries. They provide a foundation for moving forward and stealthily inspire vulnerability.

What do you want to accomplish?
What do you bring to the table?
What are you up against? What are you worried about? What concerns you?

Digging deep to inspire team transformation

Team coaching is more than what you do or how you structure an experience with a team. Team coaching is coaching, and coaching is about transformation. It’s about digging below the surface.

Expert team coaches work to create psychologically safe spaces for open and honest conversations. They help teams lean into and resolve conflicts and disagreements. They learn to read the space by noticing shifts in energy, somatic responses and communication patterns to uncover what matters most. They are calm, affirming, and curious. They name shifts in team dynamics and are “prepared to drop the plan and respond to what is emerging in the team” (Lines and Leary-Joyce, 2024, p. 109).

This is the messy, magical, and essential part of team coaching that inspires new awareness and insight and results in sustained learning and transformation. It forms the heart of team coaching. This type of learning happens when teams uncover and challenge their assumptions, beliefs and frames of reference (Mezirow, 1997). Make no mistake, this is tough work. For coaches, this means leaning into team dynamics, team conflict, team tensions, team energy, team safety, team interaction, and the unspoken undercurrents of team processes.

Digging below the surface takes practice and courage. It often starts with listening to our inner wisdom. As coaches, our emotional responses and inner sensory reactions are powerful indicators that something is happening with the team that we need to pay attention to. Tuning into our inner wisdom is a coaching superpower, and mindfulness practices can help us develop this superpower.

Using the RAIN mindfulness practice to harness our inner wisdom and transform teams

I first learned about the RAIN mindfulness practice through Dr. Tara Brach’s work. I often use the RAIN (Brach, 2021) practice to navigate and live through the inevitable and common human experiences associated with stress, anxiety, anger, fear, frustration, grief, sadness, and burnout. RAIN stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nuture.

Let’s break down how to leverage the RAIN practice to navigate tension and conflict in team coaching.

Imagine you are coaching a team, and you suddenly feel tension arising.

Drawing upon the work of Lines and Leary-Joyce’s (2024) approach to conflict and Brach’s (2021) RAIN framework, here is an example of how RAIN can help. Take note of how RAIN is used as an internal strategy for the team coach and as a coaching framework for the team throughout this example.

Recognize

Recognize what is happening and note what is emerging within you. Tap into your inner wisdom. Your feeling body is filled with wisdom. It has much to offer and teach your thinking mind. Pause and reflect on questions such as:

What thoughts, behaviours, and feelings am I experiencing?
What emotions are surfacing for me?
Where are these emotions living in my body?
What sensations am I experiencing?
What are these sensations wanting from me?
How could these feelings be an indicator of what others are feeling?

To help the team recognize and name what they are experiencing, identify what you are experiencing and invite them into the process.

I am feeling some tension arising. Do any of you feel that way, too?

Allow

Allow the experience, emotions, and sensations to be there, just as they are. There is no need to suppress, fix, judge or avoid these arisings. Remember that these reactions are there to support and help you. They are alerting you to pause and pay attention to something important. They are there to support your and the team’s success and learning.

You may acknowledge your sensations silently in a way that is meaningful to you.

I see you anxiety. I feel you as my jaw and hands clench.

To help the group uncover and allow their experiences, explore questions such as,

What are you noticing or experiencing as a team?
What emotions or sensations are you noticing arise within you?

Allowing is about creating space for folks to name, acknowledge and sit with their discomfort. Your role as team coach is to create a safe, open discussion where team members can identify what they are experiencing without judgment. It is the beginning of helping the team identify patterns of conflict and their impact on team dynamics and performance.

It may be helpful for team members to use statements starting with,

I feel…
I am…
I notice…

Create space for all voices to be heard. Encourage team members to name and sit with their discomfort, rather than judge, blame or rush to solutions. Validate and encourage different perspectives and encourage team members to do the same. Remember, this inner work is tough and may be new to many team members. Some team members may benefit from accessing an emotions or feelings wheel. I still use an emotions wheel regularly, as in the moment, it’s tough to identify what’s happening within us!

Your calm and reassuring presence is essential. Consider taking grounding breaths throughout the process. Affirming statements can help folks ease into the conversation.

It’s natural for strong emotions to arise during conflict.
Different people may experience this situation differently.

Investigate

Investigate with curiosity, interest and care. Investigation starts with you. You may silently reflect on questions such as,

What information are my emotional sensations providing me about my experiences as a team coach?
What information are these arising providing me about the team structure, dynamics and processes and the broader system they function within?
What patterns in the team’s dynamics and interactions am I noticing?

To dig deeper into an exploration of tension and conflict with the team, you may explore questions such as,

What patterns are you noticing?
What is this situation offering or teaching the team? What opportunities is it revealing?
How might the team structure be contributing to this situation?
What broader organizational dynamics or external contexts may be contributing to this situation?
What are your roles, contributions and responsibilities related to this situation?
What strengths could emerge from working through this?
What do you need from the team in this moment?
What does the team need from you?

Again, your calming and curious presence is essential. Notice your and the team’s tone, posture and somatic responses and intentionally work to ease tension throughout the discussion. Take pauses and breaks if necessary.

Nurture

Nurture psychological safety and demonstrate compassion and self-compassion. Demonstrate compassion and encourage self-compassion by openly acknowledging, appreciating and affirming courageous and vulnerable contributions.

Self-compassion (Neff, 2023) involves giving ourselves support and compassion, just as we would a friend, especially when we are experiencing discomfort, suffering and pain. It includes demonstrating self-kindness, acknowledging the common humanity of our experiences, and practicing mindfulness. It is about reducing the separation we feel from one another.

Working through conflict and disagreement is tough work. Self-compassion can be demonstrated throughout the RAIN cycle. For example, you may silently acknowledge,

Working through conflict is an important component of my role as coach. It’s tough work.

The gentle movement of placing one of your hands on top of the other can help demonstrate self-compassion and care.

Encourage self-compassion and compassion by the team by normalizing and emphasizing the importance of team conflict.

Thank you for working through this process. Conflict and disagreement are critical to fostering team health.
Working through moments of tension, conflict and disagreement provide incredible opportunities for team learning, innovation, and growth.
It takes courage, expertise and vulnerability to lean into team tensions. You’ve strengthened the way you interact as a team and surfaced new and different perspectives.

Nurture psychological safety through shared framing, inquiry and bridging boundaries (Bresman and Edmundson, 2022). Check-in and facilitate a debrief to synthesize what the team learned and how they will move forward. Ensure you allow for time to hear from all team members.

The act of psychological safety is a demonstration of compassion and self-compassion as the team is provided with time to normalize and mindfully reflect upon the learning and growth they have accomplished.

Consider questions such as,

What strengths emerged from working through this?
What did you learn about navigating team conflict and ensuring psychological safety as you worked through this? As individuals? As a team?
How will you carry forward what you learned as a team?
What might you add to your team agreements based on this experience?
How will you reflect upon and celebrate the work and growth you have experienced today?

Conclusion

Listening to and leaning into our inner wisdom is one of the most important practices we can develop as team coaches. Like any practice, it takes practice! RAIN provides an accessible framework for helping us leverage our and the team’s inner wisdom to navigate tension, disagreement and conflict, and to strengthen psychological safety.

RAIN has completely reframed conflict and tension for me. It’s helped me see this discomfort as an essential part of team health, learning and growth. Most importantly, it’s given me a grounded approach to strengthen my capacity to help team members and teams become more curious, human-centred and resilient.

Call to action

I encourage you to find one component of the RAIN practice that resonates with you and to try it in a team coaching experience. The RAIN practice can apply to your individual leadership and coaching practices too. You may start by recognizing the emotions and sensations that arise within you during a team discussion, or by engaging in a conversation of what the team experiences during a moment of energy, passion and joy. RAIN can also illuminate joyful team experiences. You may start by sharing and discussing this post with a coaching colleague or a leadership team you are working with. There is no one or right way to bring the RAIN practice to life. Do what feels most meaningful and important to you!

References

Brach, T. (2021) Blog: The RAIN of self-compassion. https://www.tarabrach.com/selfcompassion1/

Bresman, H. and Edmondson, A. (2022) Research: to excel, diverse teams need psychological safety. https://hbr.org/2022/03/research-to-excel-diverse-teams-need-psychological-safety

Edmondson, A. (1999). Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383. https://doi.org/10.2307/2666999

Edmondson, A. C. (2018). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. John Wiley & Sons.

Gallo, A. (2023) What is psychological safety? https://hbr.org/2023/02/what-is-psychological-safety

Graves, G. (2021). What do the experiences of team coaches tell us about the essential elements of team coaching? International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching & Mentoring, 15. https://radar.brookes.ac.uk/radar/file/fe000ae4-258d-4fed-8fcb-8d2d484295e1/1/IJEBCM_S15_16.pdf

Lines, H. and Leary-Joyce, J. 2024. Systemic Team Coaching 2nd Edition. AoEC Press.

Mezirow, J. (1997). Transformative learning: Theory to practice. New directions for adult and continuing education, 1997(74), 5-12. https://www.ecolas.eu/eng/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Mezirow-Transformative-Learning.pdf

Neff, K. D. (2023). Self-compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention. Annual review of psychology, 74(1), 193-218.

Peters, J., & Carr, C. (2013a). High Performance Team Coaching: A Comprehensive System for Leaders and Coaches. Friesen Press.

Peters, J., & Carr, C. (2013b). Team effectiveness and team coaching literature review. Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice, 6(2), 116-136. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17521882.2013.798669

Salihovic, K. (2021). Team coaching in the workplace. A literature review on team coaching and solving performance deficiency in the workplace, University of Gothenburg, School of Business, Economics and Law.

Traylor, A. M., Stahr, E., & Salas, E. (2020). Team coaching: Three questions and a look ahead: A systematic literature review. International Coaching Psychology Review, 15(2), 54-68. https://www.siopsa.org.za/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/ICPR-Vol-15.-No.-2-Autumn-2020.pdf#page=56

Exploring the structure of a coaching conversation

What is coaching?

The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as:

partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership.
ICF, nd

In practice, coaching involves partnering with people through an emerging process of generative self-discovery, curiosity-driven inquiry, deep listening, reframing, and future-focussed action, learning and growth (Maltbia, et al., 2014). Maltbia et al. (2014) highlight four factors that are critical to successful coaching relationships and engagements, which can be conceptualized from both the coachee’s and coach’s perspective: clarity in needs and focus, conditions for framing the situation and identifying barriers and support, commitment to determining desired outcomes and goals, and continuous improvement with a focus on iterative action and reflection. They further describe three essential coaching competencies:

Co-creating relationships: building relationships based on trust and mutual respect. Developing awareness of and accessing one’s own coaching presence and engaging in metacognitive awareness and regulation of one’s own emotions and thinking.
Productive dialogue: listening deeply to what is shared through people’s words and behaviours. Engaging in curiosity and learning-centred exploration and inquiry.
Helping others succeed: exploring, expanding and (re)framing multiple perspectives and points of view. Partnering to facilitate action, learning, growth, and change.

What is the impact of coaching? What makes coaching effective?

Coaches help people dig deep to elevate their self-awareness and thinking, as well as their capacity for learning, growth, and change. Theeboom et al. (2014) confirm that coaching has a significant effect on a range of outcomes such as: improved performance, skill development, well-being, coping, work attitudes and goal-orientation. Their findings indicate that coaching is effective in improving functioning for individuals, even when coaching occurs across a small number of sessions. They point to the importance of solution-focussed coaching approaches, that encourage deep understanding, critical reflection, and transformative learning.

Deep learning approaches encourage people to question assumptions, make meaning, relate ideas, and use evidence to explore the broader implications and application of their learning (Entwistle and Tait, 1990; Trigwell and Prosser, 1991). When we engage in critical reflection, we create meaning by uncovering and challenging our assumptions, beliefs, and frames of reference (Mezirow, 1998). Transformative learning involves critical reflection and occurs when our previously held assumptions, beliefs and frames of reference shift and change to create new insights and understandings (Mezirow, 2003). Coaching is also often grounded in metacognition or learning more about and improving how we think and learn (Stanton et al., 2021). It may also include moments of mindfulness that encourage people to become aware of and notice their inner experiences so that they work to become more self-regulated and less reactive or “triggered” by their thoughts and emotions (Hülsheger et al., 2013). Like the best professional learning experiences, coaching is based on a social and constructive learning process that draws upon the coachee’s unique situation and experiences through collaborative dialogue (Webster-Wright, 2009).

I have experienced these conditions in action as a coachee, with many experienced executive coaches. They have helped me recognize that I am my greatest critic. I have tendencies towards fear-based thoughts and mind traps. I lean towards perfectionism and create excessively high standards for myself. AND, I know I am not alone in this.

I’ve worked with coaches to get below the surface and become more aware of and work through my fears – fears of failure, judgement, of not being deserving, smart enough, or good enough. These thoughts have not stopped, but through coaching, I’ve been able to develop future-focussed strategies to give them less space. I have learned to reframe my limiting beliefs (e.g. I am a failure.) to lifting beliefs (e.g., Nobody is perfect, I am committed to always learning and growing.). Coaches have helped me get there through their skilled presence, listening, awareness and questioning, “Is there a limiting belief in what you just shared that could be reframed or rethought?”

I’ve accepted that my emotions are often my greatest teacher, guiding me towards something in the moment that I need to pay attention to. Coaches have worked with me to develop skills in recognizing and acknowledging my emotions through mindful questioning, reflection, and awareness, “I feel the weight of what you just shared, where are you experiencing that in your body right now?” What is the emotion trying to teach you?”

I’ve learned to leverage my own gifts and strengths, “What strengths and expertise do you bring to this situation that may bring you grounding and stability?” I have leaned into the power of connecting to my own wisdom of experience and intuitive gifts – “What’s worked for you in the past? What does your gut tell you?”

Each coaching conversation has challenged me to find a path forward. I have become a much stronger and more mindful leader because of coaching. Coaches have helped me step back and metacognitively reflect, “What have you learned about yourself and your situation through this conversation?” They’ve pushed me towards action, “What’s one commitment that you will make this week based on what you’ve worked through today?” They’ve left me with challenging questions for further reflection, and they’ve helped me step back to celebrate my successes. In my experience, each coaching conversation is unique, evolving, sometimes a little messy and unpredictable, and deeply connected to what matters most given my current situation and context.

What does a coaching session look like?

How can these learning theories and approaches possibly come together in one coaching conversation? The truth is, there is no one coaching structure, framework or approach that works for all. Although it is certainly our aspiration, not all coaching conversations are deep, transformative, critically reflective, and mindful. Coaching is as much (or more) about our presence or who we be in the conversation, as it is about what we do. Who we be as a coach is often best framed in the context of the ICF Coaching Competencies:

Demonstrates ethical practice
Embodies a coaching mindset
Establishes and maintains agreements
Cultivates trust and safety
Maintains coaching presence
Listens actively
Evokes awareness
Facilitates client growth (ICF, nd).

One of the most widely used coaching models is the GROW model (Goals, Reality, Options, Wrap-Up). Coaches need to be both authentic and flexible to the context and needs of the person they are partnering with in conversation, rather than to any one structure or model (Grant, 2011). Developing this sense of authenticity and flexibility takes time and practice. Despite the shortcomings of coaching structures and models, I know from experience how much grounding they can provide. I learned through Essential Impact’s Excelerator Coaching^TMframework (Engage, Enlighten, Empower, Excel, Evolve), which was embedded in our experiences through the Graduate Certificate in Executive Coaching at Royal Rhodes University.

A simplified structure for a coaching conversation

My mind gravitates towards simplification. Below I’ve adapted Maltbia et al.’s (2014) work to provide an example structure for coaching conversations based on three essential components (Figure 1).

Figure 1: Example structure for a coaching session based on three essential components: 1) co-creating trust and clarifying focus, 2) engaging in curiosity-driven and solution-focussed inquiry, 3) helping people succeed & find their path forward.

In the below section, each component is paired with guiding questions to inspire generative inquiry.

Co-creating Trust & Clarifying Focus

What do you need to get comfortable in this space together? What do you need to transition into this conversation?
What will be of greatest value for us to talk about today?
What is most important about this? What’s at the core of this for you?
What would success look like at the end of this conversation for you? What would you like to leave our conversation today with that would help you move forward?
What would shift or change for you if you achieved this?

Engaging in Curiosity-driven & Solution-focussed Dialogue

What do you need to work through and/or work out?
What’s holding you back?
What results/changes do you really want to see?
What’s important? What matters most?
What do you want to move towards?
Who do you want to be as you approach this situation?
Imagine one year down the road, you have achieved success, what does this look and feel like?
What are you doing or not doing to support these results (or what you want to see)?
What’s worked (or not worked) for you in the past?
What strengths do you bring?
What roadblocks or tensions do you experience?
What would your wisest, kindest self say to you?
What is yours to do? What’s your responsibility there? What do you have control or influence over?
How might you see things differently? What else might be true?
What are the beliefs or assumptions in what you just shared that may need to be rethought or reframed?
In one or two words, how would you describe how you feel?
Where do you feel that inside your body?
What is this feeling or belief trying to teach you?
If you could zoom out from this issue from afar, what might you notice?
How could you put this into perspective? What is one thing you could do better?
What advice would you give a colleague in this situation? What advice might a colleague offer to you?
If you had nothing to lose, how might you approach this situation?
What does your gut tell you?
What are some possible paths forward? What other options come to mind for you? What else could you do?
What have you heard yourself say about how you might approach this situation?

Helping People Succeed & Find their Path Forward

Looping back to the beginning of the conversation and what you set out to accomplish, where are you now?
What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about your situation? How will you use this learning going forward?
What’s shifted for you? What realizations have you had? What are your breakthroughs?
What’s the right next step for you? What commitment (or micro-step) will you make to move forward?
What barriers might you face?
What resources or supports do you have to draw upon?
How will you hold yourself accountable?
How will you celebrate your success?
How do we close this time together?

Despite the apparent simplicity of many coaching models and structures (including this one!), coaching is never linear. The best coaching conversations are unpredictable, dynamic, and cyclical.

Of course, it is never obvious at the start of any coaching session how the session will actually evolve, and coaches need to work with an emergent, iterative process. Indeed, for experienced coaches the uncertainty of the session and the unexpected discoveries made along the way are a large part of the joy of coaching. For the novice however, this uncertainty is often a source of anxiety and frustration and novice coaches tend to react to these feelings by to clinging too tightly to the model.
Grant (2011, p. 35)

A challenge moving forward

I encourage you to share, adapt and use this framework to help guide coaching conversations in your local context.

Try one or two questions (e.g., what’s most important? or, what else might be true?). Practice one coaching competency (e.g., listening deeply) that resonates strongly with you or that may stretch and challenge you.

The best coaches are critically reflective learners themselves. Take some time to reflect on the following:

What worked for you?
When did you feel most engaged?
What barriers did you face? When did you struggle or feel challenged?
What did you learn?
What is one thing that you would do differently next time?

Like life, there is no perfection in coaching. It is the ultimate dance of learning, curiosity, discovery, and growth – for both coach and coachee.

References

Grant, A. M. (2011). Is it time to REGROW the GROW model? Issues related to teaching coaching session structures. The Coaching Psychologist, 7(2), 118–126.

Entwistle, N., & Tait, H. (1990). Approaches to learning, evaluations of teaching, and preferences for contrasting academic environments. Higher education, 19(2), 169-194.

ICF (nd) What is coaching? Accessed at: https://coachingfederation.org/

ICF (nd) ICF Core Competencies. Accessed at: https://coachingfederation.org/credentials-and-standards/core-competencies

Maltbia, T. E., Marsick, V. J., & Ghosh, R. (2014). Executive and organizational coaching: A review of insights drawn from literature to inform HRD practice. Advances in Developing Human Resources, 16(2), 161-183.

Mezirow, J. (1998). On critical reflection. Adult education quarterly, 48(3), 185-198.

Mezirow, J. (2003). Transformative learning as discourse. Journal of transformative education, 1(1), 58-63.

Trigwell, K., Prosser, M. (1991). Relating approaches to study and quality of learning outcomes at the course level. British Journal of Education Psychology, 61, 265-275

Hülsheger, U. R., Alberts, H. J., Feinholdt, A., & Lang, J. W. (2013). Benefits of mindfulness at work: the role of mindfulness in emotion regulation, emotional exhaustion, and job satisfaction. Journal of applied psychology, 98(2), 310.

Stanton, J. D., Sebesta, A. J., & Dunlosky, J. (2021). Fostering metacognition to support student learning and performance. CBE—Life Sciences Education, 20(2), fe3.

Webster-Wright, A. (2009). Reframing professional development through understanding authentic professional learning. Review of educational research, 79(2), 702-739.