Exploring the structure of a coaching conversation

What is coaching?

The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as:

partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership.

ICF, nd

In practice, coaching involves partnering with people through an emerging process of generative self-discovery, curiosity-driven inquiry, deep listening, reframing, and future-focussed action, learning and growth (Maltbia, et al., 2014). Maltbia et al. (2014) highlight four factors that are critical to successful coaching relationships and engagements, which can be conceptualized from both the coachee’s and coach’s perspective: clarity in needs and focus, conditions for framing the situation and identifying barriers and support, commitment to determining desired outcomes and goals, and continuous improvement with a focus on iterative action and reflection.  They further describe three essential coaching competencies:

  1. Co-creating relationships: building relationships based on trust and mutual respect. Developing awareness of and accessing one’s own coaching presence and engaging in metacognitive awareness and regulation of one’s own emotions and thinking.
  2. Productive dialogue: listening deeply to what is shared through people’s words and behaviours.  Engaging in curiosity and learning-centred exploration and inquiry.
  3. Helping others succeed: exploring, expanding and (re)framing multiple perspectives and points of view. Partnering to facilitate action, learning, growth, and change.

What is the impact of coaching? What makes coaching effective?

Coaches help people dig deep to elevate their self-awareness and thinking, as well as their capacity for learning, growth, and change. Theeboom et al. (2014) confirm that coaching has a significant effect on a range of outcomes such as: improved performance, skill development, well-being, coping, work attitudes and goal-orientation.  Their findings indicate that coaching is effective in improving functioning for individuals, even when coaching occurs across a small number of sessions. They point to the importance of solution-focussed coaching approaches, that encourage deep understanding, critical reflection, and transformative learning. 

Deep learning approaches encourage people to question assumptions, make meaning, relate ideas, and use evidence to explore the broader implications and application of their learning (Entwistle and Tait, 1990; Trigwell and Prosser, 1991).  When we engage in critical reflection, we create meaning by uncovering and challenging our assumptions, beliefs, and frames of reference (Mezirow, 1998). Transformative learning involves critical reflection and occurs when our previously held assumptions, beliefs and frames of reference shift and change to create new insights and understandings (Mezirow, 2003).  Coaching is also often grounded in metacognition or learning more about and improving how we think and learn (Stanton et al., 2021).  It may also include moments of mindfulness that encourage people to become aware of and notice their inner experiences so that they work to become more self-regulated and less reactive or “triggered” by their thoughts and emotions (Hülsheger et al., 2013).  Like the best professional learning experiences, coaching is based on a social and constructive learning process that draws upon the coachee’s unique situation and experiences through collaborative dialogue (Webster-Wright, 2009).

I have experienced these conditions in action as a coachee, with many experienced executive coaches. They have helped me recognize that I am my greatest critic. I have tendencies towards fear-based thoughts and mind traps. I lean towards perfectionism and create excessively high standards for myself.  AND, I know I am not alone in this. 

I’ve worked with coaches to get below the surface and become more aware of and work through my fears – fears of failure, judgement, of not being deserving, smart enough, or good enough. These thoughts have not stopped, but through coaching, I’ve been able to develop future-focussed strategies to give them less space. I have learned to reframe my limiting beliefs (e.g. I am a failure.) to lifting beliefs (e.g., Nobody is perfect, I am committed to always learning and growing.). Coaches have helped me get there through their skilled presence, listening, awareness and questioning, “Is there a limiting belief in what you just shared that could be reframed or rethought?”

I’ve accepted that my emotions are often my greatest teacher, guiding me towards something in the moment that I need to pay attention to. Coaches have worked with me to develop skills in recognizing and acknowledging my emotions through mindful questioning, reflection, and awareness, “I feel the weight of what you just shared, where are you experiencing that in your body right now?” What is the emotion trying to teach you?”

I’ve learned to leverage my own gifts and strengths, “What strengths and expertise do you bring to this situation that may bring you grounding and stability?” I have leaned into the power of connecting to my own wisdom of experience and intuitive gifts – “What’s worked for you in the past? What does your gut tell you?”

Each coaching conversation has challenged me to find a path forward. I have become a much stronger and more mindful leader because of coaching. Coaches have helped me step back and metacognitively reflect, “What have you learned about yourself and your situation through this conversation?” They’ve pushed me towards action, “What’s one commitment that you will make this week based on what you’ve worked through today?” They’ve left me with challenging questions for further reflection, and they’ve helped me step back to celebrate my successes. In my experience, each coaching conversation is unique, evolving, sometimes a little messy and unpredictable, and deeply connected to what matters most given my current situation and context.

What does a coaching session look like?

How can these learning theories and approaches possibly come together in one coaching conversation?  The truth is, there is no one coaching structure, framework or approach that works for all.  Although it is certainly our aspiration, not all coaching conversations are deep, transformative, critically reflective, and mindful. Coaching is as much (or more) about our presence or who we be in the conversation, as it is about what we do. Who we be as a coach is often best framed in the context of the ICF Coaching Competencies:

  • Demonstrates ethical practice
  • Embodies a coaching mindset
  • Establishes and maintains agreements
  • Cultivates trust and safety
  • Maintains coaching presence
  • Listens actively
  • Evokes awareness
  • Facilitates client growth (ICF, nd).

One of the most widely used coaching models is the GROW model (Goals, Reality, Options, Wrap-Up). Coaches need to be both authentic and flexible to the context and needs of the person they are partnering with in conversation, rather than to any one structure or model (Grant, 2011).  Developing this sense of authenticity and flexibility takes time and practice. Despite the shortcomings of coaching structures and models, I know from experience how much grounding they can provide.  I learned through Essential Impact’s Excelerator CoachingTM framework (Engage, Enlighten, Empower, Excel, Evolve), which was embedded in our experiences through the Graduate Certificate in Executive Coaching at Royal Rhodes University.

A simplified structure for a coaching conversation

My mind gravitates towards simplification. Below I’ve adapted Maltbia et al.’s (2014) work to provide an example structure for coaching conversations based on three essential components (Figure 1).

Figure 1: Example structure for a coaching session based on three essential components: 1) co-creating trust and clarifying focus, 2) engaging in curiosity-driven and solution-focussed inquiry, 3) helping people succeed & find their path forward.

In the below section, each component is paired with guiding questions to inspire generative inquiry.

Co-creating Trust & Clarifying Focus

  • What do you need to get comfortable in this space together? What do you need to transition into this conversation?
  • What will be of greatest value for us to talk about today?
  • What is most important about this? What’s at the core of this for you?
  • What would success look like at the end of this conversation for you?  What would you like to leave our conversation today with that would help you move forward?
  • What would shift or change for you if you achieved this?

Engaging in Curiosity-driven & Solution-focussed Dialogue

  • What do you need to work through and/or work out?
  • What’s holding you back?
  • What results/changes do you really want to see?
  • What’s important? What matters most?
  • What do you want to move towards?
  • Who do you want to be as you approach this situation?
  • Imagine one year down the road, you have achieved success, what does this look and feel like?
  • What are you doing or not doing to support these results (or what you want to see)? 
  • What’s worked (or not worked) for you in the past?
  • What strengths do you bring?
  • What roadblocks or tensions do you experience?
  • What would your wisest, kindest self say to you?
  • What is yours to do? What’s your responsibility there? What do you have control or influence over?
  • How might you see things differently? What else might be true?
  • What are the beliefs or assumptions in what you just shared that may need to be rethought or reframed?
  • In one or two words, how would you describe how you feel?
  • Where do you feel that inside your body?
  • What is this feeling or belief trying to teach you?
  • If you could zoom out from this issue from afar, what might you notice?
  • How could you put this into perspective?  What is one thing you could do better?
  • What advice would you give a colleague in this situation? What advice might a colleague offer to you?
  • If you had nothing to lose, how might you approach this situation?
  • What does your gut tell you?
  • What are some possible paths forward? What other options come to mind for you?  What else could you do?
  • What have you heard yourself say about how you might approach this situation?

Helping People Succeed & Find their Path Forward

  • Looping back to the beginning of the conversation and what you set out to accomplish, where are you now?
  • What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about your situation? How will you use this learning going forward?
  • What’s shifted for you? What realizations have you had? What are your breakthroughs?
  • What’s the right next step for you? What commitment (or micro-step) will you make to move forward?
  • What barriers might you face?
  • What resources or supports do you have to draw upon?
  • How will you hold yourself accountable?
  • How will you celebrate your success?
  • How do we close this time together?

Despite the apparent simplicity of many coaching models and structures (including this one!), coaching is never linear.  The best coaching conversations are unpredictable, dynamic, and cyclical.

Of course, it is never obvious at the start of any coaching session how the session will actually evolve, and coaches need to work with an emergent, iterative process. Indeed, for experienced coaches the uncertainty of the session and the unexpected discoveries made along the way are a large part of the joy of coaching. For the novice however, this uncertainty is often a source of anxiety and frustration and novice coaches tend to react to these feelings by to clinging too tightly to the model.

Grant (2011, p. 35)

A challenge moving forward

I encourage you to share, adapt and use this framework to help guide coaching conversations in your local context.

Try one or two questions (e.g., what’s most important? or, what else might be true?). Practice one coaching competency (e.g., listening deeply) that resonates strongly with you or that may stretch and challenge you.  

The best coaches are critically reflective learners themselves. Take some time to reflect on the following:

  1. What worked for you?
  2. When did you feel most engaged?
  3. What barriers did you face? When did you struggle or feel challenged?
  4. What did you learn?
  5. What is one thing that you would do differently next time?

Like life, there is no perfection in coaching. It is the ultimate dance of learning, curiosity, discovery, and growth – for both coach and coachee.

References

Grant, A. M. (2011). Is it time to REGROW the GROW model? Issues related to teaching coaching session structures. The Coaching Psychologist, 7(2), 118–126.

Entwistle, N., & Tait, H. (1990). Approaches to learning, evaluations of teaching, and preferences for contrasting academic environments. Higher education, 19(2), 169-194.

ICF (nd) What is coaching? Accessed at: https://coachingfederation.org/

ICF (nd) ICF Core Competencies. Accessed at: https://coachingfederation.org/credentials-and-standards/core-competencies

Maltbia, T. E., Marsick, V. J., & Ghosh, R. (2014). Executive and organizational coaching: A review of insights drawn from literature to inform HRD practice. Advances in Developing Human Resources, 16(2), 161-183.

Mezirow, J. (1998). On critical reflection. Adult education quarterly, 48(3), 185-198.

Mezirow, J. (2003). Transformative learning as discourse. Journal of transformative education1(1), 58-63.

Trigwell, K., Prosser, M. (1991). Relating approaches to study and quality of learning outcomes at the course level. British Journal of Education Psychology, 61, 265-275

Hülsheger, U. R., Alberts, H. J., Feinholdt, A., & Lang, J. W. (2013). Benefits of mindfulness at work: the role of mindfulness in emotion regulation, emotional exhaustion, and job satisfaction. Journal of applied psychology98(2), 310.

Stanton, J. D., Sebesta, A. J., & Dunlosky, J. (2021). Fostering metacognition to support student learning and performance. CBE—Life Sciences Education, 20(2), fe3.

Webster-Wright, A. (2009). Reframing professional development through understanding authentic professional learning. Review of educational research, 79(2), 702-739.

Guiding Questions for Reflecting into 2024

Authors: Natasha Kenny and Sue Miller

As we round the corner to the end of 2023, the importance of taking some time to reflect on what we’ve learned and how we will move forward into 2024 struck us this week. So often we rush forward into the new year, without taking time to pause, reflect, learn, and set intentions for our journeys ahead. 

We work closely together at UCalgary’s Taylor Institute for Teaching and Learning (TI)Sue is the Associate Director of Strategic Operations and Natasha is the Senior Director. This week, Sue came to our biweekly 1:1 touch base with some fabulous questions for reflection that allowed us to journey through this process together.  The coach in me (Natasha) loved seeing the coach in her! 

During our conversation together, we took some time to noodle on our framing questions – clarifying and adding a couple that had meaning and resonance to both of us. We then took about 5-10 minutes individually to jot down some initial thoughts that came to mind for each of the questions.   The next 20 minutes were shared in a dynamic and reciprocal conversation together where we shared each of our responses, got to the heart of the matter, authentically built upon each other’s thoughts and reflections, and created new understandings and realizations of how we would move forward individually and in our work together.

It was a wonderful experience and we thought you might enjoy them too! We’ve provided the questions below:

  1. What is something from the last year that you are most proud of?
  2. What is one thing you learned about leadership or wished you had done differently as a leader last year?
  3. What are your hopes for the TI [your organization] in 2024?
  4. What would you want a colleague to say about your leadership, if they were having a conversation with another colleague?
  5. What are your intentions as a leader in 2024?

We encourage you to share, use, and adapt these questions in your practice as you journey into 2024 (inside and outside of work). We’d love to hear how these questions work for you, how you have adapted them, or what other questions you’d recommend!

Decision-Making through the Lens of Conscious Leadership

“Blow Your Mind” by kozumel is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0

One of my favourite grounding statements is “We are human beings not human doings.” A quick search on the internet reveals that this statement has been attributed to many, including the Dalai Lama. For me, this statement speaks to the importance of our inherent humanness, including the fact that we feel and experience thoughts and emotions in the workplace, which give rise to actions and responses that are deeply connected to and have impact on ourselves and those around us. Each action and response creates ripples across our organizations.

This year has brought rise to constant change and challenge in our workplaces. We have adapted to situations that most of us could not have imagined. Technology has both connected and distanced us. The global pandemic has impacted people and organizations differently. For many, it has drastically shifted workplace and personal practices. It has increased feelings of uncertainty, emotional exhaustion, isolation and stress. We have witnessed disproportional impacts of the pandemic on vulnerable populations and equity-deserving groups, and many of us have struggled from poorer mental health and well-being (Aristovnik et al, 2020; Brazeau et al., 2020; Giorgi et al., 2020).

As a leader, the global pandemic has challenged my decision-making abilities, with the sheer load of required resources, responses and actions often exceeding my cognitive capacity. I have found some relief in grounding my practice through a lens of conscious leadership.

What is conscious leadership?

Being conscious or mindful is about, “observing and attending to the changing field of thoughts, feelings and sensations from moment to moment” through self-regulated attention, and non-judgmental acceptance of experience (Bishop et al., 2004, p.232). It is often described as a being in the present moment, or “present-moment awareness” (Goldstein, 2013, p. 13).  Mindfulness helps us intentionally respond (as opposed to habitually react) to our thoughts, emotions, and surroundings as we reflect upon and broadened our perspective on experience (Bishop et al., 2004; Goldstein, 2013).  

Conscious leadership can be understood through three key processes: 1) awareness, 2) transformation, and 3) intentionality (Hofman, 2008; Jones, 2015).  Conscious leaders are aware of these processes across multiple levels.  First and foremost, from the perspective of oneself, then of others through to their organizations and community.  Conscious leaders are aware that everything across an organization is connected and impermanent (in constant flux), and that these interconnections influence continuous change. They act from a space of acceptance, curiosity, and reciprocity, recognizing that every organization is bound by human relationships and emotions (Bishop et. al, 2004; Hoffman, 2008; Jones, 2015).  They act through a lens of empathy, compassion, and shared leadership, and are oriented towards observation, openness, acceptance, reflection and ongoing learning.

Essential questions to guide a conscious approach to decision making

Awareness

  • What is my understanding of the challenge (or opportunity)?
  • Who is involved or connected to this challenge?
  • How does this understanding change if I view it from the perspective of those around me, and/or the organization as a whole?
  • What is happening for me, others and the organization right now?
  • What interconnections, emotions and/or patterns are associated with this issue for me, others and/or the organization?

Transformation

  • What possibilities for change exist for myself, others and/or the organization?
  • How could I involve others in exploring these possibilities?
  • What actions could result in change and transformation for myself, others and the organization?
  • What influence might these actions have on myself, others and the organization?

Intentionality

  • What is most important right now for myself, others and the organization?
  • What is the most appropriate response? How should others be involved in responding?
  • What emotions and reactions may be associated with this response for myself, others and the organization?
  • What actions could I take to demonstrate empathy and compassion to myself, others and the organization in light of these emotions and reactions?

Like all leaders (and humans), the joy, happiness and success I experience in the workplace is balanced by challenge, defeat, failure and pain. Never has that been more apparent than over this past year. The above questions have brought mindful grounding to these peaks and valleys. I’d love to hear how/if this approach resonates for you!

References:

Aristovnik, A., Keržič, D., Ravšelj, D., Tomaževič, N., & Umek, L. (2020). Impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic on life of higher education students: A global perspective. Sustainability12(20), 8438.

Brazeau, G. A., Frenzel, J. E., & Prescott, W. A. (2020). Facilitating wellbeing in a turbulent time. American Journal of Pharmaceutical Education84(6).

Bishop, S. R., Lau, M., Shapiro, S., Carlson, L., Anderson, N. D., Carmody, J., … & Devins, G. (2004). Mindfulness: A proposed operational definition. Clinical psychology: Science and practice, 11(3), 230-241.

Hofman, R. E. (2008). A conscious‐authentic leadership approach in the workplace: Leading from within. Journal of Leadership Studies2(1), 18-31.

Goldstein, J. (2013). Mindfulness: A practical guide to awakening. Sounds True.

Giorgi, G., Lecca, L. I., Alessio, F., Finstad, G. L., Bondanini, G., Lulli, L. G., … & Mucci, N. (2020). COVID-19-related mental health effects in the workplace: a narrative review. International journal of environmental research and public health17(21), 7857.

Jones, V., & Brazdau, O. (2015). Conscious leadership, a reciprocal connected practice. A qualitative study on postsecondary education. Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences203, 251-256.

Xiong, J., Lipsitz, O., Nasri, F., Lui, L. M., Gill, H., Phan, L., … & McIntyre, R. S. (2020). Impact of COVID-19 pandemic on mental health in the general population: A systematic review. Journal of affective disorders.

Asking Powerful Questions

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/22206521@N03

Appreciative inquiry (AI) is an energizing approach for sparking positive change in people, groups, and organizations. It focuses on what is working well (appreciative) by engaging people in asking questions and telling stories (inquiry). The shift in focus to the positive and what is working well generates energy within the group or organization, allowing it to move more effectively toward its goals. As well as a process for facilitating positive change, AI is a way of being and seeing the world everyday.  (Cockell and McArthur-Blair, 2012, p. 13)

I have been inspired by this year’s Educational Developers Caucus (EDC) conference over many discussions related to asking powerful questions.  In the words of this year’s keynote speaker, Joan McArthur-Blair, “Positive questions inspire positive change.”  One of the things that I have quickly learned in the field of educational development and in my leadership roles is that it is often (if not always) better to ask a thoughtful question than to provide advice.  Although we may not always label it as appreciative inquiry, I have come to a deep understanding that educational developers are great at asking positive, solution-focused questions.  These questions form the basis of our practice.  They are inherent not only to our approaches, but to our sense of being. Through questions we seek to help others (whether it be individuals, programs or institutions) to identify and leverage their full potential, to awaken the passion within, to continuously improve, and, perhaps most importantly, to provide a sense of meaning and purpose to their everyday practices within higher education.  There is little doubt that this is an interesting and transformative time in higher education.  Change is occurring at unprecedented rates, and institutions are increasingly looking to the field of educational development to support the academic community in evidencing and communicating their many successes, identifying future possibilities and opportunities for growth and improvement, and determining key actions for moving forward.  Our most potent call to action may be in asking powerful questions that connect individuals and communities through meaningful dialogue and conversation.

Below are some questions that have been pondered throughout the conference thus far.  What are some of the most powerful questions you ask in your ED practice?

  • What already exists that has value? What is the best of what already is?
  • If that is the issue, what are you yearning for?
  • What is the greatest strength that you have brought to the organization?
  • Where inside the organization do we have high engagement?
  • What does a highly connected, highly engaged academic community look like?
  • What will we be in 2020?
  • What would you be if learners were first?
  • Tell a story about the best experience you had last semester.
  • Tell a story of a moment, however tiny, when you felt excited coming to work.
  • What are you already doing in your organization that matters?
  • What is the most powerful and successful learning experience that you have ever had?
  • What are you yearning for?
  • What are you going to do tomorrow morning at 9am?
  • What is the proudest thing that you did in the last 3 years to help support our strategic plan?
  • What is the best thing that happened to you today?
  • If I imagine myself at work tomorrow, what is one thing that I will do differently?
  • How do you express what matters to you?
  • What has your time in education taught you?
  • Where have you had the most influence?
  • What is the most powerful gift you are giving to your organization right now?
  • How do you lift up the hearts and minds of faculty, staff and students within your institutions, to do their work in a way they never imagined?
  • What will your organization be calling on you to do in the next 10 years?
  • How can educational developers be revolutionary?
  • What are your options? What choices do you have moving forward? What is in your control?
  • What did you learn/discover?
  • What will you do differently next time?
  • What is the most important thing for you moving forward?
  • What key actions will you take based on this feedback?

References:

Cockell, Jeanie, & McArthur-Blair, Joan. (2012). Appreciative Inquiry in higher education: A transformative force: John Wiley & Sons.